clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Just a Very, Very Long List of Fleece Puns No One Asked For

This is our masterfleece.

Photo: Matthew Sperzel/Getty Images

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

Today, Tiffany made a grave and wonderful mistake: She asked for help on a headline for an article about fleeces, and the entire staff of the website lost our goddamn pun-loving minds.

Herewith, a completely uncalled-for list of fleece-based puns of wildly varying quality and soundness of internal logic, just because:

A New Fleece On Life

Fleece on Earth, Good Will to Men

Fleeces of Me

On Fleek(ce)

Thinkfleece

A Million Little Fleeces

Fleece Come Undone

Fleeced Lightning

Speak Your Fleece

Inner Fleece

Fleece and Thank You

Human Fleecency

Fleece of Shit

A Fleece of the Pie

Fleece’s Pieces

Reese’s Fleeces

Fleece Witherspoon

Fleece and Desist

War and Fleece

Your New Side Fleece

In Fleece-nt Memory

Fleece All That

A Separate Fleece

Actress Dianne Fleece-t

A Companion Fleece

Fleece in the Middle East

Get Your Fleece-um Dress On

Canada Fleece

Rest in Fleece

Beauty and the Fleece

Fleece Just Not That Into You

Love You to Fleeces

All We Are Saying Is Give Fleece a Chance

Fleece Offering

Five Easy Fleeces

All the Fleeces, Fleeces, Fleeces of Me

Fleece-us Christ

In-fleece-ent Exposure

A Fleece of Work

Fleece, Fleece, Fleece, Let Me Get What I Want

Fuck the Po-fleece

And one very special, totally-unusable-as-a-headline-but-clearly-genius contribution from Chavie:

“To the window, to the wall!/ Til the sweat drop down my balls/ Til all these females crawl.../ Til all these FLEECE FLEECE FLEECE FLEECE/ All these FLEECE FLEECE FLEECE goddamn!”