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Most of this website is devoted to the highly noble and incredibly virtuous activity of telling people about different things they should spend their money on. But in our endless striving for more things you should buy, we sometimes come across things that not only should you not buy, but things that maybe no one should ever buy. Things like the “Extreme Crop Top” that caused one editor to descend into an existential panic, or the arguably blasphemous lingerie item so strange that we couldn’t even come up with a name for it.
Today, I found one of those things. It was on ASOS, the website 70 percent of my clothes come from and also the one that recently suggested you wear a $54 dinosaur tail. The thing in question was the very first in a section entitled “Festival Grunge Girl” and managed to somehow combine what appears to be a child’s tutu, worn on the shoulder, with a vaguely metal-sounding band.
I am also not convinced this band exists, but I can’t be sure because its name isn’t legible.
Anyway, regardless of whether or not the band is real, this $38 shirt most definitely is real. The only question is: why.