Hello, will you click into this article about “neon lights makeup?” What if I told you it was the ~latest Insta trend~? And by that I mean roughly a couple dozen people have posted a picture participating in the trend on Instagram. In turn, content-hungry blogs have rushed to post the newest spectacle from the depths of the internet.
The phrase “Insta(gram) trend” doesn’t mean anything anymore — we should ship it out to that farm upstate where phrases like “French Girl” and “pared down” (should) go to die. But that hasn’t stopped headline writers from abusing the label! So in service of the people who must know every single Instagram trend at all times, we present a very, very long list of “trends” (that are only from the last month), broken down by which to try and which to steer clear of.
Insta Trends That Are Definitely Not a Thing:
Which appears to be the same thing as...
Get your shit together, internet.
#MACBackstage at @gypsysport, New York Fashion Week #AW17. Created using Studio Fix Fluid Foundation in NW58 to create freckles and #MACRetroMatte in Carnivorous for an "Urban Outdoors" look. Keyed by #MACSeniorArtist @fatimasees, #regram from #MACSeniorArtist @reganrabanal. #NYFW #MACFWArtist #MatteLips #LiquidLipstick #FauxFreckles #MACTrends
Turn your face into one of those beer signs, they said. It’ll look great on Insta, they said.
Or, as Perez Hilton writes: “Get Ready to Fucking GLOW Babes.”
Might hate this one the least because it feels like something Chrissy Teigen might do??
Is there anything the tyranny of the Instagram Trend Industrial Complex won’t touch? Now it wants to dictate how you pose.
Radiohead called this one in 2007.
This Teen Vogue article gets bonus points for working the word “hack” into the subhead.
It’s a crown, for your eyelids.
Everything you need to know: right here.
TFW you get called out for stealing your entire aesthetic from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”
Get your Vincent van Gogh on.
The Starbucks Secret Menu #MatchaPinkDrink I showed off last week has become both viral and controversial (See previous post for recipe) Viral from how pretty it looks, and controversial from expectations vs. reality when people try to order it. I'll tell you this much... This is 100% real. Though your barista might hate you, you have to ask them to mix the matcha and coconut milk together first, add ice and slowly add the traditional pink drink to make this cool ombre effect. Outside of how magical it looks, it also tastes great. I'd love to see more people succeed in this, but it also takes a patient barista to help you out. If you want to see how my Matcha Pink Drink looks, unedited and unfiltered, add me on Snapchat to see for yourself. It's just as pretty. If you get it made like mine (or not), tag or snap me your Matcha Pink Drink. And remember to tip your barista ✌️ #dailyfoodfeed : @dailyfoodfeed : @starbucks : dailyfoodfeed TAG YOUR FRIENDS
A status symbol if I’ve ever seen one.
I have a gripe with this one. A brand launched a new hoodie with jewelry instead of drawstring and we’re already saying it’s taking over Instagram? Maybe I doth protest too much.
This one has layers.
I really don’t understand how fishnets keep you warm under jeans, but okay?
The first sentence is: “‘High fashion’ has just been taken to a whole new level.” Moooooooommmmmmm.
It’s “blown up on Instagram, taking social media fashionistas’ #OOTD from classic to statement-making.” Buzzy, Carrie Bradshaw, Fashionistas, OOTD, Statement-Making. Who got bingo?
This is getting dramatic.
Just, like, dads? If you say so.
Sorry, you’ll have to Benjamin Button yourself to get in on this one. Bummer.
Think that’s my cue to leave.
Insta Trends That Are Definitely a Thing: