Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.
Last month I attempted to open the world’s eyes to a troubling phenomenon taking over our shoulders, torsos, and throats. It was, of course, The Shirts, also known as a structured cotton garment that can hardly be called a shirt at all and instead looks vaguely like if a flamenco dancer went to an important business meeting. Apparently, actress and professional weeper Claire Danes does not read this website, because she showed up at the Met Gala in one of these very same shirts!
The Met Gala, also known as the Super Bowl for people who don’t care about sports, is generally an occasion for fancy gowns, or if you’re Beyoncé, a dress that resembles the rough endoplasmic reticulum with ribosomes attached to it. But in the past two years, it’s also an occasion at which one person always purposefully dresses like a pirate — more specifically, Jerry Seinfeld dressing like a pirate.
It can’t be a coincidence that both last year’s Sarah Jessica Parker look and this year’s Claire Danes outfit come from the brand that is essentially responsible for The Shirts to begin with: Monse, a luxury brand that is shockingly not French.
Anyway, here’s Claire Danes’ full look, which is probably the Shirtiest outfit I’ve ever seen, and it manages to combine the following extremely Shirt-y elements:
- Enormous poplin ruffles
- Mismatched buttons
- Arbitrary cutouts
- Aggressive asymmetry
And finally, a GODDAMN TRAIN:
While her actual shirt isn’t yet available, you can buy a junior version for roughly one thousand dollars.