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Imagine if the Met Gala was staged in the south of France, if celebrities weren’t required to have their outfits approved for tastefulness by Anna Wintour, if a diamond company sponsored the whole shindig, and if it lasted 12 full days. No, folks, it’s not a dream — it’s just the Cannes Film Festival, which kicked off this very week.
One thing you’ll notice about Cannes, in addition to it being the perfect playground for jewelry heists, is that it draws a ton of top models despite the fact that none of them have anything to do with the film industry. (Emily Ratajkowski, who starred in 2015’s We Are Your Friends — a movie one critic called “one of the dumbest studio films to come along since From Justin to Kelly” — is a notable exception.)
And for some reason, many of these models wind up wearing the exact same thing on those Riviera red carpets. Don’t believe me? See below for a simple step-by-step guide to dressing like a model at the French film fest — and then, by all means, give sneaking into the event a go. After all, it worked for this guy. And this guy. And this guy.
1. Put on a slip dress. Must be satin. Should be floor-length. Nightgowns count so long as they look ~*luxe*~.
2. Throw on the biggest, sparkliest jewelry you can find. Statement earrings are good. Necklaces that look like the Heart of the Ocean are better. Fake gems are fine, just don’t get too close to any of the myriad Chopard reps milling around the festival, because they probably know the difference.
3. For the love of god, do not look happy to be there. Real models know that it’s deeply uncool to smile on a red carpet.