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You Can Actually Afford Justin Bieber's Alleged Favorite Body Wash

Pulled from his wild (supposed) rider.

Justin Bieber in concert Photo: Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images

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Justin Bieber’s alleged rider leaked the other day, and it is wild in literally every way. There’s no lack of “special Indian Yoga Caskets,” flown-in masseuses, private helicopters to deliver him from his hotel to the concert venue (“a first in the history”), and a jacuzzi for “Bieber’s personal use to unwind before he takes the stage.”

The language in the supposed rider is equally entertaining, peppered with phrases like “in order to keep the Biebs happy backstage” and “The ‘Sorry’ singer also has a list of delicious treats that he enjoys.” I want this to be real more than anything I’ve ever wanted.

In the midst of decadent luxury, the rider also unveils that the “Little Drummer Boy” remixer is, apparently, a simple man when it comes to grooming and shower accoutrements. The Daddy Yankee collaborator only requires Dove Body Wash ($4.97), which, if true, is astounding. He mixes this simple body wash in with demands for a casket containing exotic aromatic essential oils and a personal Rolls Royce.

And, in the words of the rider, “that’s not all” — you can also get some of the Bieber’s style for a similarly budget price. His clothing needs evidently include plain white crewneck tees, white tank tops, and three packages of white low-rise socks. May I be so bold as to recommend Hanes for all the above?

So hop in the shower, lather up with Dove, follow up by throwing on a plain white tee and low-rise socks, then down a “large pack” of Swedish Fish. You’ll surely be the Canadian hitmaker in no time.