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Dove Now Selling Body Wash in the Shape of Your Body Type

What is with the stunt beauty packaging lately?

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Have you ever felt body-shamed by your lithe bottle of body wash? Me neither, but that has not stopped Dove from producing a limited-edition run of body wash bottles in six different shapes meant to evoke different women’s body types, as reported by Fast Company.

According to Dove: “From curvaceous to slender, tall to petite, and whatever your skin color, shoe size or hair type, beauty comes in a million different shapes and sizes. Our six exclusive bottle designs represent this diversity: Just like women, we wanted to show that our iconic bottle can come in all shapes and sizes, too.”

Dove is obviously known for its campaigns that celebrate so-called “real women.” Sometimes they work — and sometimes they don’t. I think this one doesn’t because I’m left with a lot of questions, rather than sniffling sheepishly and nodding my head in commiseration like I did when the company made women choose to walk through doors marked “average” or “beautiful.”

My questions: Are you a white plastic blob? Sometimes I feel like one, to be honest, and I don’t like to be reminded of this when I’m naked in the shower. Do these all hold the same volume? It’s unclear, but if not, I hope they’re priced accordingly. Actually, since plus-size clothing is sometimes priced higher than the same pieces in straight sizes, why not flip that and charge more for the supermodel, willowy Dove bottle? Wait, that’s not good either. Fine, just charge the same prices.

Do the Kardashians see themselves reflected here? Does this make anyone else besides me actually more aware that their body shape (in my case, no boobs, big butt) is not represented by the “typical” women’s shapes here? This campaign has only rolled out in the UK, so maybe British women fit into these six archetypes? I don’t know the answers!

Between this and Suave’s millennial packaging stunt, I’m honestly afraid to step foot in a drugstore for fear of being some brand’s social experiment.

Here’s a good tweet, then we can stop talking about this: