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The upside of having big hips and a small waist is that your hypothetical future children will be tiny geniuses. The downside is that a terrible trade-off lurks at the heart of every pants-buying decision: Do you buy pants that fit your waist and strangle your hips and thighs, if they fit over them at all? Or do you buy the size that accommodates your thighs and hips and accept that the distance between your back and the waistband of your pants will be large enough to accommodate an entire other person?
For years, I believed that a gaping waistband was inescapable if I wanted to maintain circulation in my legs. However, just as it did by providing me with a lifetime of free healthcare, the great country of Canada has done me a solid and created Joe Fresh Classic Jeans.
Maybe they fit perfectly because they’re mid-rise, so they avoid hitting the thinnest part of my waist without going so low that I enter into whale-tail territory. Maybe it’s the slight stretch in the fabric, enough that the jeans mold to my shape without spotlighting the exact contours of my underwear (thanks, jeggings). Maybe I’ve just been blinded by the fact that they’re almost always on sale for less than $40.
But either way, these are the only jeans that work on my body, and so I’m fanatically devoted to them (we’re talking eight pairs over seven years of unwavering loyalty). They fit, they’ll never go out of style, and if they rip, I won’t have to take out a loan to buy a new pair.