These Slip-Ons Are Like Crocs for People Who Would Never Wear Crocs

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The longer I’m alive, the more I want to be comfortable all the time. In summer, I almost exclusively drape myself in one old romper that keeps me decent while barely touching my sweaty flesh. My winter look involves wrapping all 5 foot 2 of me in what is definitely a queen-size duvet loosely holding the shape of a hoodie.

The tough part of comfort-centric styling is feet. Human feet are notoriously uncomfortable both to use and to behold. Feet are hard workers, but they’re also sad — vulnerable to more than their fair share of disgusting and painful afflictions with deceptively poetic names: callous and blister, bunion and spur, wart and corn. Plus, feet have toes, and toes have toenails, which might have been badass and useful like claws if human beings weren’t so domesticated. Instead we’ve got these creepy, useless little scabs of protein sitting on the ends of our toes that do nothing but grow and grow forever, even when you’re dead.

But it’s okay, you guys, because I found a good pair of warm-weather shoes; ones that treat my feet well, but also keep them out of sight. I’d been looking for these for years: something close-toed, breathable, actually durable (sorry, Toms, no dice), and — because my interest in comfort has not (yet) totally eclipsed my vanity — kind of cute. I wore some near misses, figured I was asking too much, and gave up.

Then I found them. These slip-ons from Native Shoes are made of some magical, space-age material that seems like memory foam had a baby with a trampoline. It’s like my feet are spooned by cartoon clouds. My walk has turned dangerously close to a prance. I’ve given these suckers a good pavement pounding without any signs of wear, and with their peek-a-boo polkadots for ventilation, I can wear them all day in hot weather. No sweat.