Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year and a half (and were therefore unable to see the top halves of passerbys’ bodies), you’re probably familiar with Otherwild’s “The Future Is Female” tee — based on Labyris Bookstore’s original 1970s design, immortalized soon after by Liza Cowan’s photo of then-girlfriend Alix Dobkin, and definitely not copied at a suuuper coincidental moment in time by Cara Delevingne.
Since 2015, the feminist accessory de rigueur has raised thousands of dollars for Planned Parenthood (and thank goodness, since, you know), and spawned a clever parody or two along the way. And also some... less-clever takes.
Plagiarism isn’t cool, ladies; that’s why you should always change your slogans up juuust a little. Well-behaved women rarely do stuff worth Instagramming! Your tendency to open your mouth to disagree with your male subordinate (before closing it again because what if he thinks you’re a bitch) will not protect you! The revolution will not be a star-studded Hulu original!
The Fragments Are Female
First off, everyone knows that Meryl Streep is the female Future. Secondly, I guess “Females of the Future” would be an okay band name for some bitchin’ air guitarist dudes in the Pacific Northwest, but until that band actually exists, I’m unclear as to what this shirt means.
The Aberrant Abbreviation
Oxford, Merriam Webster, and Scrabble claim that “fem” is an acceptable shortening of “female,” which is news to me!
The Inelegant Equation
You know, (terrible) people already think women are bad at math. Please don’t add fuel to this fire.
The Typographical Tragedy
“Ooh, I know! I’ll take an existing famous T-shirt slogan and confuse people through poor design choices!”
The Unnecessary Article
I... honestly, I’ve got nothing.