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The best thing about leaving the house is coming home again, and the best part about coming home again is immediately flinging off every item of clothing and wrapping oneself in $15 worth of floral-print satin.
This is a truth I have acknowledged in the one year since receiving this robe at my sister’s wedding. You know the one: It’s pink, or at least has a very large amount of pink on it, and is always professionally photographed alongside mimosas and definitely candid laughter between seven other women also wearing the exact same robe.
It is the de facto robe of bridesmaids, the gift the bride gives her friends so that they can take photographs in the dressing room without sacrificing the perfectly coordinated color theme of the day. (And also so that the photographer can be in there and people aren’t naked.)
But just because it’s theoretically designed for all 19 of your closest besties doesn’t mean that the completely friend-less among us don’t deserve to be swathed in satin the moment they come home. It’s not as if they’re only available to purchase if you’re carrying a two-carat Tiffany diamond on your left ring finger. Like, they’re literally $15. You can find them on Etsy here, here, here, here, here, and here. You can find them by Googling “floral satin bridesmaid robes.” You can find them by whispering “squad goals” three times in the mirror, probably.
But the point is that the omnipresent $15 Etsy floral satin bridesmaid robe is actually great. It’s soft and cute and long enough to wear if, say, your very religiously conservative landlord drops by unannounced. It also adds an extra layer of glamour to activities such as watching Bachelor in Paradise while wearing a sheet mask and eating mozzarella cheese straight from the bag.
For some, the robe is a reminder of the horrors of militant forced coordination — one coworker said she immediately threw hers in the trash after the wedding in an act of passion. But to all others, I say this: Spend the $15 on a robe you will wear every day, and relish the fact that you did not spend hundreds on a dress you will wear once.