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When the world was still getting acquainted with the name “Kardashian” a decade ago, people were quick to criticize the family’s biggest star, Kim, for her seeming lack of “real” talent. She wasn’t an actress or a musician, she was simply “famous for being famous.”
But this wasn’t necessarily true: Fans of Kardashian could quickly and truthfully retort that Kim was, in fact, a stylist — and not only that but a stylist with a real, actual store co-owned with her sisters since 2006, called Dash.
But a dozen years later, the jig is up. Last night, TMZ reported that the remaining two Dash locations in LA and Miami (the New York City location shuttered in December 2016) would close, with Radar Online adding that operations will end May 31.
“We’ve loved running Dash, but in the last few years we’ve all grown so much individually,” said Kim. “We’ve been busy running our own brands, as well as being moms and balancing work with our families. We know in our hearts that it’s time to move on.”
Which, yes, of course it is. The mini-chain was almost certainly losing money, and even having “Kardashian” as your last name doesn’t protect you from the fact that brick-and-mortar retail is a dying business. Also, when you have a television show to promote that literally survives on creating the highest possible drama in your lives, shutting down a store that was once your very livelihood could translate into ratings six months from now.
But despite Kim and her sisters’ recent realization, the actual customers of Dash may have been ready to move on for a very, very long time. Here are their most brutal Yelp reviews from Dash’s three main locations, which together explain the particular misery of the Dash boutique.
It was empty and kinda dirty
Valerie H., NYC store, one star: “The store is small, dark, and dismal ... It’s pretty sad. The store clerks don’t really seem to expect much from customers, so they kinda stand behind the counter and stare. I’m assuming no one really ‘shops’ in there, just looks.”
Tiffany L., LA store, one star: “I really wish I could give no stars. The staff was not friendly or welcoming. I could see if it was busy while my friends and I were in there, but we were the only customers. There was a blanket of dust on the display that you see as soon as you walk in the door and on other displays. Very disappointed.”
Tiffany C., Miami store, one star: “The store stunk and some of the clothes looked dirty as if they had been tried on. There was fuzz all over the floors under the clothes and it was really unorganized. I bought a $20 compact there but wont be back or recommend it to anyone!”
The clothing quality didn’t match the price
Wesley K., NYC store, one star: “I spent like 5 minutes walking by and was internally disgusted. At those prices they charge, they should think about putting better quality clothing and better store backdrop rather than focusing the hype. Hype doesn’t last forever, but quality lasts for infinite.”
Chelsea S., Miami store, one star: “The only thing they had you might could afford was a keychain at $12 but who wants that or a compact mirror that said DASH. No thank you! They had Rob’s sock line in there which seemed a bit out of place.”
Linda L., LA store, one star: “This store is like an overpriced Forever 21 with ugly socks.”
Amy J., LA store, one star: “No disrespect [but it] is more like swap-meet style of clothes.”
Justin S., LA store, one star: “The only thing I liked about the store was their unique light fixtures (not for sale).”
Myra K., LA store, one star: “The store has a security guard standing in front of the store, guarding what? Ridiculously ugly, overpriced clothes?”
Charles P., Miami store, one star: “Their Sears line was better.”
The service was bad
Dionne R., LA store, one star: “I literally had to wait 10 minutes to finally get some assistance — after I finally made out who the sales assistants were, since they’ve been standing in the middle of the room looking at some or the merchandise and were vividly talking about last night and plans for the following night.”
Jennie A., LA store, one star: “Horrid people work here.”
Marianna A., Miami store, one star: “The ladies working didn’t acknowledge my presence. Stayed on their phones a good amount of the time. There was tissue paper on the ground [and] they were not in a rush to pick it up.”
The bottled water was too expensive
Regginette M., NYC store, one star: “To be completely honest ... I liked Forever 21 better. Some of the clothes were cute, but none of them were worth the price. They charged $10 for a bottle of water.”
Ken H., NYC store, one star: “I was very thirsty and almost bought one of the $10 bottles of water with the princesses’s faces on it but I figured if it tasted anything like how the store seems to operate, I probably would have choked.”
The “DASH outta there” puns were far too easy to make
Arlene F., NYC store, one star: “The only thing I liked about this store was its name, DASH. Because the only thing I wanted to do was DASH out of this store.”
Claudia S., NYC store, one star: “If you’re in the neighborhood, DASH right past it, total waste of time.”
Angela F.W., NYC store, one star: “I literally only spent 60 seconds in there then DASHed out.”
Val B., LA store, one star: “Talk about “DASH-ing a 12 year old’s ideas of the one store she could not wait to visit.”
The Mexican food was terrible
Jorge D., who has clearly confused the Dash LA store with a very bad Mexican restaurant, one star: “Horrible place to eat. Don’t get me wrong the scenery is nice and very chill. And they have good service. Always checking up on us, but this is not athletic Mexican food. You better off eating at Don Chente or El Pescador if you want to pay high prices. The price does not match the food and for that is why giving this place one star. It reminds me more of a dive bar. The food at least. I wouldn’t recommend this place to any of my friends. Also the food prep is amazing but the quality sucks. Thats all :) hope this helps.”