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Kids these days. They're too obsessed with their damn phones: texting, sexting, frexting (texting friends), chexting (texting cheese). Well, concerned baby boomer parent, their addiction is about to step up a whole lot more. Pop star and serial cultural appropriator, Katy Perry announced that she is developing a mobile game with the famed Left Shark à la Kim K, Demi L, and Nikki M.
Katy Perry Pop's sugary sweet and colorful kawaii rainbow paradise will allegedly assist in guiding your musical dreams, which seems like a fair reward in exchange for spending thousands of dollars on in-app purchases. You get what you pay for!
Racked has obtained a 100 percent legitimate and not-at-all made up leaked script of the game depicting an encounter between your avatar and Perry. The scene is set outside the VMAs (Vydyo Myusik Auwardz — there were some copyright issues), and Perry is going to perform tonight, but there's something special in it for you.
Perry: Hey gurl, nice of you to come out to California!
You: Yeah, s'cool.
Perry: I'm so excited to perform at the VMAs! When I'm on stage tonight I'll be thinking of you!
You: Thanks, I guess.
Perry: It's a good thing you didn't wake up in Vegas!
You: No, I came here, didn't I? Jeez.
Perry: Oh wow! There's Jennyfar Anystan! You must be pretty starstrukk!
You: Katy, I get it.
Perry: Well, quit being a mannequin and have some fun!
You: I'll try.
Perry: Hey, how about you come roar on stage with me tonight?
You: I don't know.
Perry: Come on! This is how we do!
You and Katy Perry blow the crowds away with your questionable interpretation of a Native American dance and you live happily ever after.