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This year has been a whirlwind for the Kardashians, maybe more so than any other. With Kourtney's baby, Caitlyn's transition, Kim's pregnancy, Kylie's lips and relationship— and then there's the Scott and Kourtney breakup mini-saga. After the paparazzi caught him getting cosy with 18-year-old models in fur coats, notorious substance abuser with extreme relationship commitment issues, Scott Disick, has posted a nude picture on Instagram. Based on our patented, highly evaluative Butt Analysis technology, we've determined that it's Kourtney Kardashian, his supposed ex-girlfriend and mother to his three children, in Vanity Fair.
The couple have been in an on-again, off-again relationship since 2006, which the Kardashian family's pantheon of reality television shows has painstakingly documented. Disick captioned the photo "Now that's 1 hot mama" to much suspicion of Instagram's discerning double tappers. One user, vaffanculoxoruby, remarked, "It sure is 1 hot mama, too bad she ain't [sic] your hot mama anymore, Scotty."
Further high tech investigative journalism — or rather, obsessive watching of Keeping Up With the Kardashians — tells us that Disick's previous post was a shot from Kourtney's backyard with the caption "Top of the morning 2 ya."
Why is Scott thirsting after Kourtney? What is the symbolism behind his gratuitous use of ones and twos? What is going on?! I guess we're going to find out on the next season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.