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Crucial Update

Malia Obama May Have Engaged in Totally Normal Activity

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The Obamas
The Obamas
Pool/Getty Images

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Malia Obama is quickly on her way to becoming the first daughter du jour; Sasha has a lot to compete with. After a stint assisting Lena Dunham in whitewashing New York — or rather, fetching coffee for her — our girl is all grown up and ready to go to college! Malia is currently on an extensive cross country tour of potential schools to make her alma mater. So far, she's toured her father's alma mater, Harvard, Yale, New York University, Wesleyan, Princeton, Tufts, Stanford, Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of California, Berkeley, and as you have all heard by now, Brown.

During her visit to the Rhode Island Ivy League school, the 17-year-old President's daughter attended a college party, as you do. Also, when you're the goddamn daughter of Barack Obama, people will be more than willing to throw a party for you. As is custom among tweens (11-13 years old) and teens (14-87 years old) all over the globe, the people Malia attended the party with had Snapchat installed on their phones.

A Snap leaked by the Daily Caller depicts Malia within proximity of a game of Beer Pong, and members of the universe known as the Internet have lost their minds. She doesn't look too fazed by it, maybe she just wanted to make out with a bro. Did she even play Beer Pong? Did she just look stand there in the corner texting all night? Either way, she should keep partying — I'm sure the Secret Service had a great time.